Trinkets…

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A safe space

A bed and shelves that sing my memoirs

Trinkets, a steal of sentimental youth

Book binds and record sleeves

Paint a picture of then

Blanket me in the now

Push me toward the next change

Grounded by a space that honours time

Honours who I was, am, will be

Anxiety paused, a platform to rejuvenate.

“Home” is where the heart is but it’s also where the strength to grow is. It’s revisiting the past and remembering why you left, it’s a heartbeat of clarity in the mess of your hounding thoughts, it’s allowing your stubborn self to be looked after and the rememberance that having people in your life to do so, however limited is one of the greatest gifts. I feel more myself in this moment than I have this whole year. I don’t miss New Zealand at all and that’s okay too. It was a time in my life I’ll learn I was in need of I’m retrospect and just because it was paradise for so many that doesn’t mean it had to be paradise for me too. Being home is not a failure and it’s not permanent it’s another chance, a hug and a push onto the next chapter. I feel more inspired here than I have anywhere else. The grey days show their own kind of love too. 

Love and light, N x

Mount Moments 07

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05.05.18

How do people make time to settle? Months clip by like meagre days and there’s no second-guessing when your life is passing you by, no settling for a job you hate, a place you can’t grow, people who don’t inspire you. How can you even begin to feel contentment if you don’t give yourself the fundamentals? Surely a basis to bloom, create, go mad with passion and love for all elements of your day to day life, that is the most important ingredient to self-love?

‘If we were meant to stay in one place, we would have roots instead of feet.’

08.05.18

Deep chats with empathetic souls. El feels trapped too, wants more than whatever the present has to give. We grab drinks up the road and I chat her ear off, it’s all about idea’s and feelings, the topics that make me think and leave me feeling renewed: politics, feminism, youth, travel, work, philosophy. El is a refreshing change. She’s intelligent, self-aware and she just gets it. I don’t feel pessimistic when we discuss things, more contemplative. It’s the same for all the ladies surrounding me right now. At work, they’re all a force to be reckoned with.

12.05.18

Barred, enclosed in this paracosm,

grey world ignited in rose illusion,

tinted scenes from a novel land

embraced in a fairer story.

14.05.18

You are HERE, in THIS place, with THESE people and THESE opportunities. You have THIS face and THIS body. THESE are your words and your thoughts. NOW is where life is and I hope so ardently that you won’t waste too much more of your life away in that hopeless yearning for another self, time and place.

18.05.18

They approved my second-year work visa, I met the news with no such excitement. Everyone around me is overjoyed, they know how much effort and money went into the application, how daunting the six week wait was to find out the result. But it obviously isn’t what I want. This proves that. But where to next? Home? What’s there?

 

Light and love, N x

 

Mount Moments 06…

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18.04.18

Now, do you realise the power of ‘yes’?

New friendships on short road trips, explorer walks and real-world enchantment. Up in the skies with rebel waterfalls, droplets strung like fireflies in buttery setting suns, captured by a pause in time between forests and streams. The sort of moment that flaunts fantasy and encourages you to second guess all you thought you knew.

21.04.18

Loneliness is sweet with time,

and in her spaces, I think you up in a myriad of disguises,

from Prince Avenue to Grey Street…

23.04.18

You say you despise cigarettes

but you’ll never miss a break

a brew in one hand

and the patience of a saint

lulled by the jagged tuning

and the whispers off that delicate tongue

twisting words to rhythms

like language has never been sung.

25.04.18

Waking up easy, lazy light through gauzy curtains, slow sips of coffee in a warm bed, early Dylan tracks humming, gently encouraging my mind to wander, my thoughts to spill, my pen to write.

Light and love, N x

 

antiscians…

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He holds space with meaning

She whispers space in crowds

with gentle hands he treats

tangible sorrow nimble around a cause.

She hashes out her days, fury riddled

Steel minds, tricked to meld

orbiting their echoing heart.

 

Antiscians,

opposing poles rythmed to the inevitable.

 

Shipped into subdued today’s

regimented to phase one tomorrows

nostalgia harbours melancholy truths

swallowed by the cruel tide of time

damned to spirit voids, heart blanks,

In fragmented lives, aware of their lacking.

 

N x

 

 

 

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20/04/17…

 

Manic slurs of biblical allegations.

Fascist regimes from foundations that scream

of freedom,

love,

acceptance,

LIES.

A lonely back table for one,

heavy burdening cross

kind eyes

sincere blessings.

A foreign creature,

buoyant and peculiar.

Primal and choosing,

You.

The outcast,

the spiritual one,

the third eye follower,

believer in the stars.

Does your contact with energy,

reek of sin?

Your kind intentions,

vibrate with uncontrolled

menace?

Your calm,

open mind,

a polluted temple?

You that does not follow,

dark matter of the world,

shunned for thinking.

 

 

Nx

Cosmic Crush…

jameshighland-3

 

I wrote a poem everyday in April and whilst they’re all mediocre and mostly terrible I’m working on putting my writing out there and exercising it. It’s my passion, I love to write so I’m trying to progress to a point where I can maybe even do a reading of some pretty spiffy poems one day (a girl can dream). Any pointers from actual talented poets would be unbelievably appreciated. Teach me your ways yo!

N x