Mount Moments 07

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05.05.18

How do people make time to settle? Months clip by like meagre days and there’s no second-guessing when your life is passing you by, no settling for a job you hate, a place you can’t grow, people who don’t inspire you. How can you even begin to feel contentment if you don’t give yourself the fundamentals? Surely a basis to bloom, create, go mad with passion and love for all elements of your day to day life, that is the most important ingredient to self-love?

‘If we were meant to stay in one place, we would have roots instead of feet.’

08.05.18

Deep chats with empathetic souls. El feels trapped too, wants more than whatever the present has to give. We grab drinks up the road and I chat her ear off, it’s all about idea’s and feelings, the topics that make me think and leave me feeling renewed: politics, feminism, youth, travel, work, philosophy. El is a refreshing change. She’s intelligent, self-aware and she just gets it. I don’t feel pessimistic when we discuss things, more contemplative. It’s the same for all the ladies surrounding me right now. At work, they’re all a force to be reckoned with.

12.05.18

Barred, enclosed in this paracosm,

grey world ignited in rose illusion,

tinted scenes from a novel land

embraced in a fairer story.

14.05.18

You are HERE, in THIS place, with THESE people and THESE opportunities. You have THIS face and THIS body. THESE are your words and your thoughts. NOW is where life is and I hope so ardently that you won’t waste too much more of your life away in that hopeless yearning for another self, time and place.

18.05.18

They approved my second-year work visa, I met the news with no such excitement. Everyone around me is overjoyed, they know how much effort and money went into the application, how daunting the six week wait was to find out the result. But it obviously isn’t what I want. This proves that. But where to next? Home? What’s there?

 

Light and love, N x

 

A Promise to 24…

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You’ve exhausted yourself poor girl. Unable to create yourself like everyone else, unable to stop craving otherwise. You take your circumstance for granted that’s true but it isn’t you, it’s her and still you fail to make peace between the two of you. Of course you only want the best for yourself, a rich tapestry of life. Late nights with the ones you love, to get lost in grand cities, to feel so utterly insignificant that there is nothing to you but complete freedom. You want the world to ravish you and you’ve succeeded mightily at times but this is the year we try to make it stick. – Journal entry

Twenty Four is my wild year, the year I push and push until the paralysis crumbles under the pressure of my ferocity. Every day I’m taking minute steps toward it. I’m hungry for liberation, I never suited this timid creation, not with all of this abundant aspiration, this urgency for living, this need to seek out the characters in the crowd and befriend them.

“I never really understood New Year. To me, my birthday was always my chance to start over or keep on with the good.” – My work boss.

Wellington reminded me of all the things I love about living. Scattered routine, talking late into the night with exceptional humans, dancing around completely oblivious to reality, shitty places painted pretty in shades of memory. I missed my friends, I missed the adventure I came here for. The past few months haven’t defeated me, I’ve defeated me. But I’ve had some crazy reboot, less to do with a birthday and more to do with getting away for a couple days. I never knew a place could be so claustrophobic.

Light and love, N x

Pieces of: Wairere falls….

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When I’m ‘Settled’ into routine and have to put travelling on hold, it’s little adventures and road trips that keep my spirits up. A friend took me to Wairere Falls the other week and it was a right test for my lungs and my poor little legs. Despite the pain once we reached the summit the trek up seemed like nothing. We weren’t expecting the waterfall to be so impressive anyways so even the road leading to it took my breath away a little. The first view point is about half way up and gives you a stunning view of the waterfall itself set into the rocks and lush greenery, you might very well feel like that’s enough and want to retreat but you have to troop on because waiting at the top is the real treasure. The day we chose was a windy one so the waterfall was actually floating up to shower us,  water droplets catching in the sun rays and pure views of green rolling hills. It took about an hour and half, round trip, if I remember rightly, with options for longer more advanced routes. Here in New Zealand there’s always something waiting to stun you around every corner, this place is in a league of its own. I’m keen to check out more of the trails around and about Tauranga and if you ever find yourself in the area be sure to give this one a go.

Love and Light, N x

Pieces of: Lake Mahinipua…

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N x 

Pieces of: The West Coast…

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Look at me happy little face man! That was genuine joy that was.

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This is the West Coast, a stretch of road put up on the list of the best road trips in the world. Can you see why? Imagine the pure, raw, site of it all. That lazy ocean and frayed shapes of the pancake rocks. This little piece of my journey was enough to remind me that seeing an imagine second hand isn’t enough. That as much as I appreciate photography, as much as it may be my favourite visual art form, it can’t quite ignite the feelings of being present and reaching that cosmic level of understanding. Understanding the levels of beauty on our tiny piece of universe. This shit is what the aliens would invade us for.  Standing at a view point with that early summer breeze sauntering through the air, temperatures so perfect you’re niether shivering nor sweating, the crowds around you are nothing because what you see, this actual real scenery, has consumed you. The ocean is my home, it’s my councillor, my mysterious lover, the one place I will never tire of returning too and this chunk of road time swelled that connectedness in my heart.

My memory is a little mushed with the particulars of the trip but I’m almost positive that this was the connection between Westport and Lake Mahinapua. I have no pictures of Westport so I’ll quickly say that, though it wasn’t as magical as a lot of the trip, I did paddle board for the first time (such a meditative activity) and did enjoy the hostel heaps, Bazil’s Hostel. Me and a couple of the girls even did an early morning Yoga class and grabbed a surprisingly good cup of coffee before we set off which probably put my mind in the perfect set up to connect with all that natural wonder around us.

Love always, N x

Visuals: Zealandia

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You break out of the claustrophobic nightmare of grey stone and caving payments to brutal green that offends your retina for a moment, blinding in its healthy glow, it’s purness. The innocence of life is vibrant in those colours, a simplicity alive in the springtime blooms and courageous hibernation of the winter encased leaves. It’s a respite from the everyday exhaustion you failed to notice. It’s a respite from the cluttered mind you drag through minutes blurring in bland streets. Here is the origin of you and it, a breath out when you didn’t know you were holding it in.

Love and Blissful vibes, Nx

1 Week in Lanzarote…

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Nostalgia seeps into my groggy morning brain almost instantly as we enter Newcastle International Airport. The last time I departed this place was on my way to New Zealand, my last memory of the three of us there together took place at the same time, outside security, clutching onto one another, surging through the desperate emotions of a goodbye. Now we check in, all three of us, together. My passport is out of my charge for the first time in years as my Dad takes on the role as head of the family. Just like old times.

 

Sun greets us on the other side of the flight. The signs in English and Spanish are familiar from years of travelling through similar layouts on other Spanish Islands. I vaguely recall my curiosity as a kid, the new language and trying to pick up snatches from the locals as we walked through. Our resort is equally as memory jolting. Balding middle aged English men, sitting outside of tacky English style pubs, torso’s pale in the wake of a T-shirt, contrasting to burnt arms, lager in hand. It’s always been the same on tourist resorts and I smile. It’s an old, new, way of travel for me.

There is some culture in the local dishes on the western menu’s. Their authenticity I daren’t guess at but it peaks my interest, even if I won’t eat them. On the grey days, where even paradise caves to misery, I hope for car hire so we can explore Lanzarote some more. It doesn’t happen. My parents holiday to unwind and enjoy the sun. On longer, fortnight holidays back when I was a kid, the car hire was always my favourite part. Winding through mountains, ocean view after ocean view. My innocent mind would real with secret daydreams, the landscape my setting whilst my pink iPod nano created a soundtrack.

Despite the itchy feet feeling of being stranded on the same street, by the same windy beach and too cold hotel pool I thrive in the simplicity of being taken care of. I’m not alone, I’m not responsible and in the middle of the week somewhere I find the easy rhythm of the place and learn to just be.

It shouldn’t be a task but it always manages to be, just sitting and noticing and breathing. Simplicity makes me anxious and I realised how much my rampant mind had been craving it on that holiday. I knew I set out travelling to run from something, I just never accepted that something was my own thoughts.

Love and happy energy, N x