It’s been eighty four days since I landed here. Eighty four days of floating around a winter dead city, drenched in rain and always occupied by a furious gale. I kill time on the same street, just one central road of many, I practically live there until I actually do. Cuba street is the heart of the city, the rusty magic in the otherwise characterless town. It’s loud and full but tries too hard and gets old quick. When I’m not hiding in mundane cafes to hide from the rain or working under the brutal dictatorship of my boss I’m chatting with free spirited souls in the hostel kitchen, sneaking in prohibited alcohol and hitting the night ignited city for a good time.
Memories are made and hours forgotten, sometimes my only reminder of my nights are the aching in my limbs from dancing too hard and my raspy voice from too much rum. We wake in the afternoon light and find food, laugh at the bits we remember and live in our youthfulness. We’re alive and free and I find my contentedness in the presence of these strangers. Sometimes I’ll stay home on weekend nights and stare at the blank pages of my journal willing my thoughts to figure themselves out into words so I can create something beautiful. This is only sometimes. Mostly I’m drunk.
It seems sometimes that I’ve turned myself off. I’ve quit my too full feelings and need to be alone but with these things I fear I’ve quit my creativity. When I’m inspired it’s a rush of hectic energy that I have no time to contain and save for later. When I am alone it’s usually to sleep or get “adult” things done. If I can be around people and vibe off their energy, talk about the world and idea’s, be crazy and adventurous and alive then that’s where I’ll be. So as empty as this account may seem, as self pitying in parts and not so culturally invigorated as a backpackers life should be, I realise I’m living my best life. Travelling and seeing things and meeting people is all I wanted for so long and now that I have it I only want more of the same, nothing more and that is such a fulfilling realisation. So, I’m sorry I haven’t updated this space, all I want is to fill it with the beauty of my life and share my story with you, my gratitude. But I’ve been too busy living my life to document it and I’m so sorry for that. I have a flat now, a settled (god forbid) few weeks to catch up and I intend to fill my free time grinding and starting something exciting here.
Sending love and blissful vibes,