Words on my mind: Destiny…


I believe in magic, I believe in the mystery of the world, in the light that shines through emotion and acting on honesty. I believe in the stars and the moon, the sun and the ocean, that nature is above us and science just a way to deal with the abundance of unexplainable chaos that parades through every day life. I live by karma and creating my own luck and when it all goes to shit I think of it as a lesson to be learnt, that it was meant to happen to put me back on the right path or to change my direction. This time last year you could say I believed in destiny that there was some big masterplan pieced together by infinite atoms of energy in the universe, that everyone had their purpose and their outcome and we were all just doing our best to get through to the end goal. Now? I don’t believe in that one bit.

I bought my way out of my restless rut with a plane ticket that I worked tirelessly for, I didn’t have a clue where it would lead or how it would pan out but destiny had nothing to do with where I am now. All through the year decisions made themselves priority and walls shot up to hinder my progress at the most unexpected of times. None of it seemed preprogrammed like my struggles through university or finding a job. Nothing slotted nicely into place, it was all jagged pieces I had to persistently jam into too skewed places. There were times where nothing would go right and despite how hard I pushed the piece just kept popping out. I’d twist and turn it, hoped with everything that I had that my end picture would be a perfect one but it kept pushing back at me. I didn’t give up, I knew what I wanted, needed and I kept at it. I manifested my own destiny despite advice against it and despite what the universe seemed to be telling me. I ignored it. Against the authoritative voice in my soul telling me to flow with it and let it go. Destiny is the inevitable future painted for you against what you might try and achieve. Destiny sucks.

You have this one life right, it’s super short. The older I get the quicker the years fly by, I still feel seventeen despite being twenty two and I often meet people so cemented in the belief that this strict life plan is the one for them. Even travellers experiencing these phenomenal experiences still are devoted to the path of family, career and mortgage. Like destiny now has nothing to do with some spiritual plane out of our control and more to do with the hands of society. The thought of anyone or anything dictating what I do with my time here makes me angry. This isn’t a game and yet every aspect of humanity is playing at one. Destiny has been put in the hands of governments and religions and individual worlds all accumulate to this master world. Destiny sounds magical and once it was all I needed to believe in. Not getting into my chosen university wasn’t the end of the world because it was “meant to be”. You know? Oftentimes, yeah it does work out but you can’t give in to shit happenings because you think it’s supposed to be. You got to fight and make your voice heard in your life because living for other people or other higher powers will not make you feel fulfilled.

Destiny sounds like a beautiful word, an easy way of life, a way to be and live without hardship but you have to talk back if it’s making you do something you don’t want to. Don’t be bullied, make your destiny your own and feel how freeing that is.

Author: nikki

In a constant existential crisis, dipping me toe in everything, trying me best.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s